I don’t want to panic anyone but have you done all your end-of-world preparation shopping yet? You can’t leave it till the night before like you do with Christmas shopping.
Defence Secretary, Wes Streeting, who is in charge of how this nation would cope in a war, has been telling households to stock up on emergency supplies. That’s a good sign, right?
The advice includes things such as a torch, an in-car phone charger, warm clothes and blankets, high-visibility clothing, jump leads, food and drink and a first-aid kit. It’s basically everything a middle-aged dad keeps in the boot of his car.
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There are some items some of us don’t need to worry about. We’re meant to have a supply of candles but those of us who live with a middle-class woman we already find ourselves surrounded by various Yankee items. The next national emergency will smell like vanilla.
Other items we’re being told to get include a wind-up radio. That means one that’s powered by a handle. It’s not wind-up radio like when Noel Edmunds used to call up people pretending to be from the gas board.
They say you need spare batteries but that’s not just for emergencies. If you have young children you need a full supply of all sizes in case someone buys your young children a toy and you need to put batteries in before the tantrum starts.
They say you need bottled water but how much should you buy? The World Health Organisation recommends a minimum of 2.5-3 litres of drinking water per person per day for survival. The interesting thing about that advice is that it makes you ask two questions: “How long do I want to survive for?” And, “How many members of the family do you still want around by the end?”
Of course, they recommend buying tinned food and they say that you shouldn’t overlook your pets. That’s true. If you have a big tasty cat or dog you don’t need to buy as much canned food.
They say you should stock up on baby formula if you have really young children. Actually, that’s a good item to have even if you don’t have babies. If the population has to be rebuilt who do you think will get to do the fun breeding? The guy with loads of Aptamil, that’s who.
Do you feel any less panicked now?
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